Epic Rap Battles of Warcraft #90

“Love Rap to the Dark Lady”
MC Kelpkeepah feat. Miss Kat
(Download MP3)

Written by Walsh

My heart beats for hers,
Though hers doesn’t beat.
But man, those breathing’ girls—
You know they can’t compete!

She stands so tall
With eyes so red.
Don’t go dissin’ my girl
By calling her “dead.”

You forgot the “un,” son,
And that makes all the diff.
There ain’t no guts
Spilling from her midriff.

That’s the Dark Lady
We’re talking about.
And when it comes to Sylvanas,
I’ve just gotta shout:

My Banshee Queen,
So cold, so blue,
When I’m in Ol’ Lordaeron,
I’ve got my eyes on you.

You’re just so hot,
If I can be frank.
You’re the ultimate healer
To my noob tank.

But I also see in you
A leader so great.
You’d be an awesome Warchief—
Top-class, first-rate!

So don’t get me wrong,
That body ain’t rote,
But as our leader,
You’ve got my vote!

Just let me stop you there—
I’ve got no time for games.
Can you really back up
Those bold claims?

It’s like you said,
Your heart still beats.
Any man of mine
Should be maggot eats.

I can kill you now
If you prefer.
But don’t say “undead”—
That’s a racial slur.

So let me know
If you’ve got the stuff.
Otherwise, mere mortal,
I’ll call your bluff.

You’re right, dear Syl,
I’ve gotta up my game
If I’m gonna live in Brill
And proclaim your name.

I could fly up high
And then dismount.
But I’m not a shaman—
Does that still count?

I could freeze to death
Way up in Northrend.
Would you love me then,
If that was my end?

Or just slay me now
With true love’s kiss.
That’ll stop my heart
In a moment of bliss.

Whichever you choose,
I’ll make it my goal.
Just say the word,
And you’ll have my soul.

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